phlanker

So...

Today i fucked off Westpac, and started banking with Commonwealth.
See if these guys will send me a deposit book and a cheque book within 6 weeks >< . fucking retarded assholes.

LRN2JOB!

So the business is going good, cept one thing i am noticing is that everyone wants things from you yesterday, and when you need something from them, it's gonna take 6-8 weeks.

FUCKERS.

WTB - Decent Accountant... tell me waht i can and what i shouldnt spend my money on.... Tax Write off FTW...

When in doubt, buy a house with a shed, so its a tax deduction..

OMFG!! and Random fact for the day - You can go on up to 8 holidays every year, and class them as stress relief if you are the proprietor of a business :D 

WooooOOOOOoOOOOOoOOoooOOoOTTT!!

Soo... where we going today ?!

Still miss things, Still want things... Still cant sleep... but fuck... too manic today to give a fuck :D 

And its great to be here...

Capt Kirk Signing off...

Sincerly,


Cpt J. P. Kirk.
Fully Qualified Space Cadet.

Not to be taken in it's literal sense...
You did, but that is not how i meant it. 
I meant it in a way of how i feel, not how it is, nor how you feel.
I miss your friendship. That is what this is about. Not our relationship.
P.S. The moon is still up there, and it says hello ;)

I was blown away.
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that.
I try to see the good in life,
But good things in life are hard to find.
We'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

Taken all I could take,
And I cannot wait.
We're wasting too much time
Being strong, holding on.
Can't let it bring us down.
My life with you means everything,
So I won't give up that easily.
I'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
'Cause it's all misunderstood.
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

We can't let this get away.
Let it out, let it out.
Don't get caught up in yourself.
Let it out.

The only reason i continue to write here is because you read it every so often...

And i write here, so even from afar, you can know that i am still here.

Lost beyond hope, nothing but a 250 between my legs, an mp3 player in my ears, and freedom of the road...

I miss you. I miss my friend. I miss.

An update of sorts...

I have decided when you put your mind to it, and take away female input into your life, you can get things accomplished.

I now own and run a scrap metal business, employing 6 people on a full time basis...

still got my mazda, but been shopping around for a Monaro, or an RX-7...

Turning a tidy profit from month to month, my minimum being 40k gross.. 24 nett.. so it appears that i have found my calling... always been told that i will find it eventually.

Things seem to work...

Put a female in the mix, and it all goes to hell...

So, single i shall stay, and i will get on with my life...

they say that money doesnt by happiness... they were right...

but then, companionship doesnt bring happiness either.

need to find a medium ground i guess...

hard to find...

I dont know where i am... all i knwo is that what i am doing is making money, and money is making my world keep spinning... it used to be the other way around... I was happy with the person i was with... and yet had little enough money to bless myself with, yet... i was happy...

where is the logic in my life?

there is but none.

But, I am expanding into Adelaide over the next 6 weeks, starting up another business, under my own, and have a business manager down there running it and holding the fort per se which will help i guess...

pretty exciting times for the industry...

just not for me...

It's not over - Daughtry.

I miss you. I care for you. I should have turned around. You should have talked to me. We should haven't given up...

more to come Journal...

Wes.

Regardless of what you may think...

I care.

I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in then I start to see
The edge of the bed where your nightgown used to be

I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
What it feels like beside you

I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took that you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't wanna lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room

I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
What it feels like beside you

I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I'm laying in is getting colder
Wish you never would have said it's over
And I can't pretend I won't think about you when I'm older
'Cause we never really had our closure.
This can't be the end

I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

So it would appear, that when you put your head to create something, as opposed to destroy it, one can create something beautiful.

I've never reall drawn before... but the few people i have shown, think i should draw more... Maybe a mage next.. or a warlock... or maybe just more of Syreth.

Meh.. here it is... tell me what you think...

How the hell did we end up like this??
Someone close to you once said, 
"Marry for money... dont make my mistake and marry for love.."
I never thought you would take them literally.

"Does he make you laugh?"
"He doesnt make me cry."

Someday baby... someday im going to make it right...
I know you wonder when... 
But only you can answer that. 

/love



How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

[Solo]

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when

Not much else i can say...

Such is life.

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know

I love you
I've loved you all along
I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know

That I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'd never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

So far away
So far away
far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me,and never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
hold on to me never let me go

Keep breathing
hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing
hold on to me, never let me go



RIPSM - 11/08/1978 - 28/04/2007
RIPSM - 10/03/1983 - 28/04/2007

one day minding my own business
girl from the back won't keep her distance
she was all over me
just won't let it be
so i said to her i've got a girl at home
this is so hard for me
but you gotta leave me alone
she said she didn't wanna listen to me
knew what exactly she wanted to be
my baby
i must admit she was getting to me
waiting for me
wanting me to hold her oh so tightly

Iv seen a rich man beg,
Iv seen a good man sin,
Iv seen a toughman cry
Iv seen a loser win
and a sad man grin
Iv heard an honest man lie
Iv seen the good side of bad
and the down side of up
and everything between
Ive been these.

Have you?

Good by my little girl...

You can tankle my fingers and neck in the next life my baby...

*sigh*

so many things i miss.

You are but one of them.

To those leaving Angst posts.

You want to angst, yet, wont leave your name.

What are you afraid of?

All of my posts from now on will be friends locked.

If you dont want to read them, dont. Better still, take me off your friends list.

This means you for one sorbs. You are above all this, yet you make posts to say you have washed your hands of all this. Why post at all?

I post not to give you all something to use against me. I put thoughts here. My own. No one elses. and my feelings.

Aaron, Your posts mean something to me.

Should you wish, start an LJ, and friend me. or post here.

To those not on my friends list, should you want to continue reading my obviously stupid, rediculous, and meaningless posts, create an LJ and friend me.

Otherwise, Please, continue your search for someone to bash on. I dont feel like playing your games anymore.

Have a good one.

Wes.

Something is amiss here...

I am not certain of what it is, but i have my thoughts and my ideas.

But i cannot help the constant feeling of something being led astray.

Anyone else get that feeling... not that i expect anyone to respond.

...

none of you... not one has the fore-thought to see what has happened.

You of all patrick. You i thought were smarter then this.

The thing none of you realise, is that the only people here, are the people i have never met. nor shared any great bond with. albeit a very short one. None of you know my history. None of you know where i have been, or what i have done, yet you are all so quick to judge me.

Of everything i have done, Have i ever once judged, or cast out anyone from anything for any reason?

Yet, you all judge so easily. So openly. as you did before. and as you will do hence forth.

Everything all of you say, means so little to me, you couldnt even begin to imagine. There is only one person whose words do not fall on deaf ears. it is one of you. but it matters not who.

Everything i set out to achieve i have accomplished.

I set out to push you all together. And it appears i have. wouldnt you agree.

You of all people would know why drill instructors are so hard in the "marines" patrick. Perhaps you could explain why for all the nice people??

I do not wish to be seen with the same light, but perhaps knowing that would help you understand a little better?

I am not glad that you all hate me. nor do i enjoy it. contrary to what i am sure you all believe, i do hurt. and the pain is more then anything i have ever felt. But, it serves a purpose.

So patrick, i ask you this, why, are drill instructors so hard on their troops? Is it because they were born heartless assholes? Or does it serve a greater purpose?

Think about that a little.

Wes.
100383

Well,

Whom ever reads this... hopefully no one know. Seems i have pissed off everyone around me.. so its just you and me puter.

I feel rather accomplished.. finally i accomplished what it was that i set out to do.
and all i can think about everything over the past 12 months is i told you so.

So many people argued with me about different things... and you know what... everything i said, was true. or has become true.

so you know what... fuck you all hey. you all feel so self righteous.. grats. Follow the poor little girl... maybe you might have a shot at it. lol.

this post is directed at a few people... they know who they are. weather they read this or not.. well... so be it.

To the anonymous person who reads this... thanks for the reality check. always good to have an objective view every so often, to remind us what is real, and what isnt.

A long time ago i swore that i wouldnt give up anything for anohter person... iwas sick of getting tread on... well i did it again and got used again... I guess its all gonna happen again soon enough... but meh.. what the hell right?> you only get to live once... may as well have a ball doing it yeh ?

So to all those who have given a shit... see my mistakes... dont make my mistakes... the world is big and bad enough.. make ur bloody own :P

Have a good one guys :D

Talk soon.

Wes.
100383

Well... here i sit... Another day... another hope... another dream... another life...

I guess this is the day, where things take a turn, away from where i thought my life was heading... and once more, i move forward to another tangent...

I dont know what this tangent is... nor have i even begun to discover it yet.. but i figure, i move away from one, i must be moving towards another.

For those of you who actually read this, I want to apologise for the shit i have caused... The death of a great man i caused... a much wiser, deeper man than myself...

I dont know if i will post here again.. though in saying that, im pretty sure i will, though it will most likely get locked so only i can read my posts.. but it sort of removes the point of doing this online yeh? So i think i will go back to writing my thoughts into notepad, and saving them to my computer.. as i have done for years... Bringing them to an open forum was the stupidest idea i have ever been able to muster, though i have been granted quite a few bad ideas...

I want to apologise to Sorbs, you got to watch from afar... somewhat helpless, at my stupidity.. and unable to belt me over the back of the head from sydney... Many a day i wish you would have sorbs. Thankyou for beingf there... and listening.. and watching.. and being the strong one... the one that was always there just for the simple pleasure of being able to strut through LJ's and /g Chans nekkid.

Same to you Patrick. You were and are probably the closest thing i will ever have to a brother. and yet, more then that.. i believe you are in synch with my soul... you know me oh too well.. and like sorbs, were forced to sit there and watch me make stupid mistakes... and selfish mistakes. Keep writing mito.... i miss Vaticus' and Rolands' Adventures.. you have agift my friend, which i dont come close to comprehending... use it. Dont give it up...

Angie..

I love you more then i have ever loved before...

Nothing i can do, or say, can take away the pain i have given you. Nor can fix what i destroyed. My selfishness, and my greed, destroyed a life... took a soul from this earth... for which there is no retribution.. I cannot redeem myself from where i am. and what i have done.

It seems you move forth, with promise, and hope... the one thing i took from you. you seem to have found again. I will not be in contact.... for fear of taking that again. The way i think is this, " If you love her as much as you say you do, you will let it go, let her find her own love, and care enough, to have someone she loves, love her."

I will love you not until the day that i die. but for forever and a day.

Thank you to everyone who has ever read this LJ. many of your comments and your thoughts have helped... some... i still shake my head at... but... What is the point of open forum if it isnt?

Marcus, I am sorry. not once, did i stop to consider the consequences of my actions... not once, did i stop to think beyond my own... I saw a soul, unhappy with where she was... i saw myself bringing happiness to that soul... so i didnt stop. I am sorry that i could not have given both... for i would give my own, in space of you.

But what good is sorry now... Should never have gone this far.


See  you all on the other side.


Wes.
100383

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"